Dealing with the waiting of adoption

After we finalized our homestudy and officially announced we are hoping to adopt, I have had lots of people ask me one question: So what’s going on with the adoption?

I know these people are well-meaning friends who are genuinely interested in my life and are anxious for me to find the baby that I believe is meant to be my child. But I have to admit, every time someone asks me if there is any adoption news yet, it’s like a little stab in my heart.

When people are trying to get pregnant, no one would ask them “Hey, knocked up, yet?” Sure there are difference between the two, but the feeling is the same. Every time someone asks, it reminds me that no, there is not any news on the adoption and I have absolutely no idea when there will be.

My answer to this question is usually something like, “Just waiting and praying” or ‘Not yet, but hopefully soon!” I actually feel pretty calm and positive about the whole adoption process. I am happy with my family and convinced that if there is a baby meant for our family, it will find us. I pray every night for that baby and that mother to find their way to us if I am the one who should raise that child.

But every once in a while, I am fully aware of our powerless I am over the adoption process. I did my part with the homestudy and with preparing ourselves for adoption. But now . . . we wait. I pass out cards with our family’s contact info. I update our adoption blog. I tell basically every person I meet that we are trying to adopt.

At the end of the day, though, I have very little control over this journey. As a type-A control-freak, that’s not so easy. For me, just sitting back and letting life take its course is no small task.

A friend of mine who adopted recently told me how when she got the call saying her paperwork had gone through in India and her 18-month-old daughter was ready to be picked up at the orphanage, she traced back to her daughter’s birthdate to see what she had been doing on the day her daughter was born. She realized that her daughter’s birth coincided with a time in her life when she had all but given up on adoption. After waiting for five years, she felt like maybe her window had closed and she should move on with her life.

At that very time across the globe, her daughter was coming into the world.

So I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that my adoption story will end so beautifully. I am hopeful that my family will get the chance to love and embrace a child who needs us as much a we need him. And most of all, I’m hopeful that as I am preparing my home and my heart for a baby, there are forces at work slowly but steadily bringing that little baby to my arms.







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