There is usually not much about “The Bachelor” on ABC that is uplifting. I think we can all agree on that, right? That doesn’t stop me from watching it occasionally and judging the women while counting the times someone uses the phrases “We have a connection” and “She’s not here for the right reasons.”
But, while watching a snippet of the show last week I found a little gem — a morsel of truth and enlightenment amidst the banality that is “The Bachelor.”
It was something one of the girls said while on a date with the bachelor. She said, “My dad adores my mom. She could be completely wrong in every sense, but my dad supports her and he is always on her side. No matter what.”
Of course she said this while in a bikini and about five minutes before she was in full-on make out mode, but that didn’t take away from what she said. When she spoke of how her dad supports her mom without question, even when he knows she is 100 percent wrong, it hit home for me. That is the kind of spouse I want to be.
I am not currently this kind of spouse.
Supporting my husband publicly is something I struggle to do well. I poke fun. I roll my eyes. I discuss his flaws with other people. I don’t hesitate to contradict him in public and point out when he is wrong.
I am fully aware these are all horrible qualities and habits that lead to unhappy marriages. But, I am working on them. I wish I were more supportive naturally — like my husband is with me.
That being said, I have a wonderful marriage, and I have strengths in other areas as a spouse. I support my husband on the big issues. But when the bikini-clad girl spoke of her parents, I remembered again how essential it is to support one another – always and in small, daily ways. I’m not talking about any huge gestures here but suppressing an eye-roll now and then or biting my tongue could go a long way.
So, thank you, insightful bachelorette. I feel you don’t really have a connection with the bachelor, and you are not on the show for the right reasons, but thank you for that little reminder that I need to be on my husband’s side all day, every day.
How do you show support to your spouse? Do you struggle like I do with public criticism of your husband or wife?