New Year’s resolutions are always overwhelming for me. How do you pick just one thing? Just one! I have about 50 things at any given time that I want to work on or do better. My husband often jokes that I don’t need New Year’s resolutions because I set so many goals for myself weekly based on whatever was the topic at church that Sunday. Read your scriptures? I resolve to read every night for an hour. Family home evening? I commit to having incredible themed FHEs every week. Physical fitness? I will run a marathon by the spring!
And like most resolutions, these end up forgotten until next year’s lesson on the same topic.
But, I do have a less formal stash of mommy resolutions that I tackle every day. I haven’t mastered these yet by any means, but luckily there is no strict benchmark for success. I like to think my success in these daily motherhood resolutions is simply in the fact that I am trying. Some days are more of a triumph than others, but the only goal is that I keep at it.
So instead of some New Year’s resolution that will end in an unused gym membership within three months, here are my three top mommy resolutions that I make every day:
Be in the moment – It’s easy to judge the mom who has one hand pushing a baby in a park swing while the other scrolls through emails on her smartphone. But I know I’ve been guilty of this frequently in some degree. Perhaps my worst moment was when I found myself texting while on the moonbounce with my daughter earlier this year. I was physically there, but sometimes I think my kids see too much of the top of my head and the soft glow of my screen in my face. So, I recommit daily to be in the moment with my children.
That is much easier said than done, however. I have to remind myself often not to get distracted by my inbox or to repeatedly tell my kids, “Just one more second, honey.” I know those seconds will be gone before I know it, so I constantly resolve that when I am with my children, I will truly be with them physically and mentally.
Don’t compare myself – This trap is a sure-fire way to feel inadequate as a mom, wife, women, etc. Of course, when I do compare myself to other mothers, I compare only my weaknesses to other mom’s strengths. I forget that I have great qualities, too. That’s hard to remember, though, when I see that one mom at school who I am convinced gets up at 4 a.m. to do her hair and makeup while I am lucky to have brushed my teeth. So I make a daily resolution not to compare myself or my life to other women — or if I do, to at least compare my skills and talents instead of my flaws against the qualities I admire in others.
Find downtime – I promised myself I wouldn’t overschedule my kids. I limit them to one regular activity at any time, but somehow the days seem to get packed. Often I find myself with no breathing room to just sit down and play with my 2-year-old or read with my 5-year-old daughter. Life is hectic. There’s no getting around it. But I think we can easily become too busy or even pride ourselves on how busy we are. So I resolve every day to slow down, breathe and make time for nothingness. Lessons and playgroups and errands are nice, but they will not be the memories I cherish of these years. Those unscheduled moments of play or unsolicited chit-chat are the most precious, but they can’t happen in days that are jam-packed with busy.
Do you have any recurring resolutions as a mother? Any major New Year’s resolutions this year?