Mommy resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are always overwhelming for me. How do you pick just one thing? Just one! I have about 50 things at any given time that I want to work on or do better. My husband often jokes that I don’t need New Year’s resolutions because I set so many goals for myself weekly based on whatever was the topic at church that Sunday. Read your scriptures? I resolve to read every night for an hour. Family home evening? I commit to having incredible themed FHEs every week. Physical fitness? I will run a marathon by the spring!

And like most resolutions, these end up forgotten until next year’s lesson on the same topic.

But, I do have a less formal stash of mommy resolutions that I tackle every day. I haven’t mastered these yet by any means, but luckily there is no strict benchmark for success. I like to think my success in these daily motherhood resolutions is simply in the fact that I am trying. Some days are more of a triumph than others, but the only goal is that I keep at it.

So instead of some New Year’s resolution that will end in an unused gym membership within three months, here are my three top mommy resolutions that I make every day:

Be in the moment – It’s easy to judge the mom who has one hand pushing a baby in a park swing while the other scrolls through emails on her smartphone. But I know I’ve been guilty of this frequently in some degree. Perhaps my worst moment was when I found myself texting while on the moonbounce with my daughter earlier this year. I was physically there, but sometimes I think my kids see too much of the top of my head and the soft glow of my screen in my face. So, I recommit daily to be in the moment with my children.

That is much easier said than done, however. I have to remind myself often not to get distracted by my inbox or to repeatedly tell my kids, “Just one more second, honey.” I know those seconds will be gone before I know it, so I constantly resolve that when I am with my children, I will truly be with them physically and mentally.

Don’t compare myself – This trap is a sure-fire way to feel inadequate as a mom, wife, women, etc. Of course, when I do compare myself to other mothers, I compare only my weaknesses to other mom’s strengths. I forget that I have great qualities, too. That’s hard to remember, though, when I see that one mom at school who I am convinced gets up at 4 a.m. to do her hair and makeup while I am lucky to have brushed my teeth. So I make a daily resolution not to compare myself or my life to other women — or if I do, to at least compare my skills and talents instead of my flaws against the qualities I admire in others.

Find downtime – I promised myself I wouldn’t overschedule my kids. I limit them to one regular activity at any time, but somehow the days seem to get packed. Often I find myself with no breathing room to just sit down and play with my 2-year-old or read with my 5-year-old daughter. Life is hectic. There’s no getting around it. But I think we can easily become too busy or even pride ourselves on how busy we are. So I resolve every day to slow down, breathe and make time for nothingness. Lessons and playgroups and errands are nice, but they will not be the memories I cherish of these years. Those unscheduled moments of play or unsolicited chit-chat are the most precious, but they can’t happen in days that are jam-packed with busy.

Do you have any recurring resolutions as a mother? Any major New Year’s resolutions this year?

2 comments

  1. Danny Chipman

    My New Year’s Resolutions are pretty scaled back this year, too, if just for the fact that I’m having a baby in the spring and will either be too uncomfortable to do much (already am now) or adjusting to having three kids all needing my attention. So far my only resolutions are to set up a budget/debt repayment plan for the year, continue taking half-hour walks everyday (as weather and sciatica allow), and tune up the language skills that have gone rusty over the past few years. There’s so much more I want to do, but I think the key for me this year is not adding anything (or much) to my already loaded plate.

  2. Arun

    You don’t need resolutions to better your life, my friend. You need to understand it – truely understand it – on your own. Think about it. You don’t resolve to go through the door everytime you walk out of the room, do you? You may however need to ‘resolve’ if bychance you decide to walk through the wall! ;-)

    Have a great and fulfilling 2013

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