Trusting a Nanny
Picking the right nanny or babysitter for your children is a task all mothers obsess over. Is she attentive enough? Is she knowledgeable enough? Can I trust her?
That’s why last week’s horrifying story about a nanny killing the two children she was paid to watch hits especially close to home for me — and moms everywhere. On Friday, a New York City mother came home from a swim lesson with her middle child to find her two other children (ages 6 and 2) knifed to death in the bathtub. The nanny began stabbing herself when the mother came home and is suspected of stabbing the little boy and girl, according to reports.
Just hours earlier, the mother had written on her family blog about how she adored her 2-year-old son and cherished the way he was learning to talk.
I honestly don’t know how a mother recovers from that kind of trauma. And I don’t know how you ever leave your remaining child’s side again.
Many mothers are asking themselves this week how much they really know about the man or woman they leave in charge of their children. This family in New York trusted their nanny. She had worked for the family for two years, and they had all even gone to meet her extended family in the Dominican Republic.
In the end, I guess no amount of criminal background checks or interviewing is going to 100 percent guarantee your nanny or babysitter isn’t going to do something horrible or just plain stupid. So what’s the answer?
On the comment boards following the stabbings in New York, some parents posted that they never leave their children with babysitters. They said they take their children everywhere or they simply don’t go. Others borderline blamed this poor mother for entrusting her precious children to someone else.
I definitely don’t think that accusation is fair, and I don’t think it’s practical to never use a babysitter. My kids have never had a nanny, but they do have an occasional babysitter for a few hours. I don’t feel guilty about that at all.
But I also feel more nervous now about whom I trust with my children. How do you decide which babysitter or nanny to hire? Are there steps to take to help mitigate risks, or was this stabbing just a horrible tragedy that no amount of precaution could prevent?
Stewart has largely missed the real issue here. The issue is not that some so-called nannies are better than others. The real issue is that parents who prefer the pursuit of luxury to the duty of parenting are irrefutably putting their children at risk.
Far too many modern parents are abdicating their parental responsibilities to nannies. Let us be clear–this choice is not made out of necessity, it is a free choice that places materialism over child-rearing. Indeed, parents who hire nannies do so because they value large houses and expensive cars over the well-being of children.
Being raised by a nanny inevitably harms the child. It may not always be physical harm, such as that mentioned by Stewart. In fact, it is usually the far more subtle moral harm that occurs. Indeed, study after study confirms that children raised by nannies participate in substance abuse and immorality at far higher rates than the general population.
In short, let us address the real issue. It is time for all parents to fire their nannies, and place the welfare of their children above the pursuit of luxury items.
John Charity, once again you have painted with a very large brush. I am a stay at home mom. I love that I am able to be. However, I know WONDERFUL parents who have a genuine need for regular babysitters. And not because they just want big houses. The people I know live in modest homes, or are renting and hire nanny’s out of a need to make ends meet. Each family situation is different.
LQQK outside the box for a minute! “If” it were made to LQQK or appear it was the Nanny. Why didn’t the Nanny slice and kill the “mother” of the 3 children prior to the swim lessons? Why only 2 of the children? Why not all 4 family members? A lady gave an interview proclaiming she rode up the elevator with the Nanny and 2 children only a half hour prior to the murders? Then proceeded to state the little girl mentioned “dancing”? Odd, were they suppose to meet the mother at a dance building? Did the Nanny forget something and had to back track to the apartment? The desk clerk as written claims he never saw the Nanny and children leave? Was someone following them? Did she surprise someone by back tracking? Or was there a hit on this guys whole family and the swim lessons botched the criminal plot? If the Nanny was younger but this Nanny don’t fit the profile. The mother is slim and trusting it would of been no problem for the Nanny to take her out also. Something is missing in all of this. What? The father was to fly back and find a gruesome killing of his whole family with a dead Nanny beside them all? Seriously, and think about it for a minute. An hour or hour and half swim lesson and the Nanny snaps? Nanny and kids going up the elevator when they should be going down? While pile the children in the bathroom tub? Why not one child in the kitchen? The other one somewhere else? What was so special about the 3 year old who did not get murdered? And the mother also lives? Hmmmmm perhaps someone was waiting for all them to return, but the Nanny forgot something and premature events took place before the full ill acts could be carried out on all family members? IT JUST DOES NOT ALL ADD UP………..NOTHING DOES. THE PRESS AND OTHERS OF SOCIETY JUST CANNOT MAKE UP STORY’S. JUST THE FACTS.
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1. Determine what you want in a nanny. What skills do you want your nanny to possess? (For example, do you want her to be bilingual or a licensed CNA?) What job duties will you expect your nanny to perform? (For example, do you want her to do your children’s laundry?)
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4. When you have identified several nannies that may be a good fit for your family, call or e-mail those nannies to set a time for a telephone interview with them.
5. By telephone, give a brief interview to each nanny candidate that meets your baseline qualifications. Ask basic, job-related questions such as, “What do you like about being a nanny?” or “Please tell me about your most difficult experience as a nanny and how you handled it.”
6. Send a polite rejection… http://blog.nannies4hire.com/hirenanny/763
Uh, nattyis, the stories I’ve read said the nanny slashed her own throat in front of the mother as she entered the bathroom. Your far-fetched ideas are way out there.