Do you have a favorite child?
Even if your answer is yes, would you ever admit it? Or tell your kids?
A daddy blogger this week announced to the world that he has a favorite son. He writes, “If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can’t imagine life without him.”
And then in defense of that statement, this dad goes on to say, “I admit it, my oldest son is my favorite because he can do more things. To me, he’s more fun. I don’t love either of my sons any more than the other, but I do like them differently.”
Yikes. That second son is in for a whole lot of therapy, and if I were the “favorite,” I might sleep with one eye open.
Before becoming a parent, I always wondered about this. Do parents really prefer one child to another? Are there favorites?
Now as a mom, I’ve decided the word “favorite” simply has no place in parenting. I do not have a favorite child, and am irked by this daddy blogger’s claim that, “Yes, I have a favorite son and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m guessing you could look deep in the mirror and admit you have a favorite too.”
I have different relationships with my children, but that in no way equates to a favorite. They are two different children whom I try my best not to compare.
I feel bad for this man’s not-so-favorite son. I think as parent bloggers we are wise to learn that not very emotion or thought we have belongs on the Internet. I have learned this lesson myself several times in the past four years of writing this blog.
But I think choosing favorites is a deeper issue than just not announcing it on the Internet for your child to read one day before going to his next therapy session. The problem is if you see a child as your favorite, it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. Even this daddy blogger admits he chooses his “favorite son” to do errands with on weekends. And so they create more shared experiences while the other kid gets more and more alienated.
The bottom line is no child should ever hear they aren’t dad’s favorite. Parents who do parenting right make their kids feel so special and loved that each one truly believes they have the best relationship with mom and dad. Every child deserves to grow up harboring the secret knowledge that they are dad or mom’s favorite — not the public knowledge that they are not.
What do you think? Is this something the dad should have kept quiet? Do you think parents really do have a “favorite” child?