You Look Good . . . For a Mom

At a girls’ weekend recently, I came out to the pool in my bathing suit only to be hit in the face with this quasi-compliment from a friend:  “Oh, you look so cute. . . like a mom.”

Like a mom? What does that mean exactly?

OK, I admit my bathing suit did have a skirt bottom on it, which in the bathing suit world is akin to mom jeans. But I thought I was rocking that skirt. What exactly screamed MATERNAL! about me? Stretch marks? No, nicely hidden by the tankini. Cellulite? Hence the skirt. I could see no inherent mommyness about me beside the fact that I was the only one poolside that day who has children.

And yet, there it was. I looked cute . . . like a mom.

Of course, before I was a mom, I didn’t realize how these types of comments come across. I remember telling my sister-in-law one time that she “looked good for having four kids.” I had no idea why she laughed and told me never to tell a mother that again.

Now I get it. I don’t want to look cute like a mom, or look good (but only if you take into account that I have grown two human beings in my abdomen). I want to look good. Period.

But alas, that may be too much to ask as a mom. Even I sometimes forget that underneath all the mommyness, I am still a woman. I still want to feel sexy, beautiful and like if I walk out in a bathing suit everyone’s mom radar won’t go off.

Don’t get me wrong: I love being a mom. It’s the No. 1 title I claim to describe myself. But at the pool with your girlfriends, it sure would be nice to be just one of the girls — stretch marks, suit skirts and all.

What makes you feel like a woman instead of just a mom?

2 comments

  1. Rockin' Mom

    Erin, I think you are an absolute doll. I love your blog and I love your frankness. I do believe, however, that you are being a bit sensitive over this. The fact is that you ARE a Mom and your body has changed due to having your children. Women who have not had children have no idea and yes, they can say insensitive things, but you have to just rock the Mom Bod. Be proud of it (which I know you are and I totally get where you are coming from) but your body will also change due to getting older, even if you didn’t have kids. I’ve had 5 kids and I sure don’t have the 18 year old body I used to have! But when people say I look great for having 5 kids, I take that compliment and roll with it and appreciate it, even if my thighs are covered with my swim skirt and I have spider veins in my legs. War scars, sister!! 🙂

Leave a comment

DeseretNews.com encourages a civil dialogue among its readers. We welcome your thoughtful comments.

*