Spanking and aggression
My daughter was perplexed this week when we were watching “Little House on the Prairie” and one of the fathers in the show threatened to give his son “the lickin’ of his lifetime” for cheating on a test.
We don’t spank or hit or really even yell in our house, so this discipline made no sense to my 4-year-old daughter. As I explained to her that some parents hit their children’s bottoms when they are naughty, her eyes widened. She did not understand why a parent would do this.
I have to admit, explaining corporeal punishment to a kid who has never been spanked sounded barbaric.
A new review of 20 years of research on spanking shows a good swat on the bum may not be a very useful parenting tool, after all. “Everyday” types of physical punishment like spanking often lead to higher levels of aggression in the child, as well as increased likelihood of depression, anxiety and criminal behaviors as an adult
In fact, no studies in the last two decades showed positive, long-term effects from this type of physical discipline, according to the study in this month’s Canadian Medical Association Journal.
I was spanked growing up and turned out just fine — in my opinion — so I don’t think spanking is a sure-fire way to instill emotional issues in your children. But I don’t do it because I think there are better ways to communicate with my daughters. If I have to resort to physical punishments, that’s weakness on my part.
I also can’t imagine causing physical pain to my kid as a punishment for bad behavior. And with little evidence to show spankings are effective, we won’t be doling out any “lickin’s” at our house anytime soon.
Do you spank in your home? What are the guidelines for using physical punishments? If you don’t spank, why not?
I was beaten all the time, growing up. Mostly for lying, which I suppose I deserved a “swat on the bum” for, but not so much having vacuum cleaners and other household objects broken on my body, as well as being hit with baseball bats, sticks, frying pans, and belts. All of these punishments came from my mother, as my father was very passive, always telling me not to cry because it wouldn’t fix anything. My childhood has affected me in major ways. My mother’s anger, shouting, and beatings, as well as my father not being around so much, and ultimately, my parents’ divorce caused me to be depressed and have anxiety problems, as well as abandonment issues and more emotional issues, that led me to become a hoarder at a young age.
Personally, when I have children, I will most definitely seek alternate methods of punishment, if need-be, because I don’t want to be the reason that my children are depressed and have anger issues.