Pint-sized mean girls

Sometimes I think girls are genetically designed to be exclusive. They thrive off it. And even the kids who aren’t part of the in-crowd will automatically exclude the next less cool outcast to come along.

I’ve long known this about girls, having been one my entire life. But I didn’t expect the “mean girl” syndrome to start quite this early with my 4-year-old daughter.

I watched this week as one of her friends purposefully excluded her from a playdate, flaunting the fact that she and another little girl were now “best friends.” She refused to hold hands with my daughter and even ordered her best friend not to hold my daughter’s hand.

It was kind of amazing to watch these little personalities in action. I could almost see the cliches of queen bee, wannabe and reject coming to life on the playground.

Perhaps I’m reading into things too much, but it’s hard not to when you see your child playing by herself because she’s not “best friend” material.

While talking over the situation with my husband later, he brought up the question of whether I would rather my daughter be the one doing the excluding, or the one being excluded? In the long run, I guess I’d rather her be excluded. In fact, if she can learn how to deal with this situation now, maybe she can save herself a lot of the heartache that will no doubt come in her teen years.

But in the meantime, it’s causing me a lot of heartache to watch. Any advice on how to handle pint-sized mean girls, or to keep your daughter from becoming one?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.