Spacing your kids

All the women from my pregnancy group are lapping me. Two years ago, we all happened to get pregnant within six weeks of each other, and now suddenly this week has been a flurry of Facebook pregnancy announcements once again.

I, however, am perfectly content to have my 14-month-old daughter still be the baby of the family. And honestly, the thought of being pregnant again so quickly sends panic through me (as does the thought of choking down saltines and morning sickness while chasing a 1-year-old baby).

I don’t think this makes me less maternal in any way, but I am just not that mom. You know, the mom who has five kids under the age of 6 and spends less time out of her maternity clothes than she does in them.

I discovered this about myself after our first daughter was born and I realized I needed a good long break from pregnancy and the newborn phase if I was ever going to want another child. When my daughter was about 2 years old, that baby hunger started to creep in again, and our daughters are now a little more than three years apart.

I love it. The oldest is old enough to help out and to understand when I tell her that the baby is not a toy that we throw down the stairs. I never had to deal with two kids in diapers at the same time or too much jealousy about the baby role being usurped.

And for my own sanity, I needed those three years.

But some women are totally fine with much less spacing between kids. My friends who are now getting pregnant again will have about 19 months between their children, which is the same spacing I had with my older sister. I loved growing up with a close sibling, so I can see the pros of closely spaced kids.

Was the spacing between your children deliberate? What do you think is the ideal spacing between kids and why?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.