An imperfect wife

My marriage is not perfect, and I have no problem admitting that I am full of flaws as a wife and a mother.

So I appreciated all the comments on my last blog with suggestions on how to curb my nagging (without blaming my husband for it.) Many of the comments were insightful and made me realize that no one can “make” me nag, and that I do have other options. In fact, I’m happy to report that our home is now beep-free because I changed those batteries in the fire alarm.

No applause, please.

But I was surprised by some comments indicating my marriage is dysfunctional because I sometimes nag. It is one of my flaws. I have many of them. But I actually think I have a completely normal marriage made up of two imperfect people constantly striving to do better.

The whole reason I admit such personal things on this blog is because I am convinced there are many women out there just like me searching for someone to say it’s OK to be a work in progress.

Last week’s comments also got me wondering that if some people would label a marriage as dysfunctional because the wife nags, then what constitutes a functional marriage?

Respect tops my list. Everything else follows this one simple thing. Along with respect comes treating your spouse like an adult who is capable of making good decisions. Respect is required to trust your spouse, support your spouse and ultimately, to love your spouse.

I respect my husband. That’s never been a problem for me. But sometimes I do have trouble translating that respect into actions. As some of you noted, my nagging is a sign of disrespect. Like I said, I’m working on it.

What qualities do you think are required to make a healthy, happy union? Any characteristics that will doom a marriage?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.

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