When a spouse wants out

I’m not sure what I would do if I came to bed one night to find my husband reading up on how to get a divorce. Well, I take that back. I know what I would do – I would completely freak out.

That’s what happened recently to a friend of mine, whose husband decided he simply didn’t feel like being a husband or a father to their 1-year-old child anymore. It was too much of a burden.

Couples get divorced for all kinds of reasons: some legitimate and some not. And for me, feeling like you just don’t want the responsibility of marriage is simply not one of them. Too bad. Get over yourself and live up to your commitments, buddy.

Of course, I’ve never actually been in this situation, so it’s hard for me to judge. I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who felt stuck in our marriage. That’s not fair to me or to him. I also wouldn’t want my child growing up in a house that didn’t brim with love.

So while I’m filled with rage at this woman’s husband, I think she will be better off without him. Of course it will not be easy rebuilding a life as a single mom, but I can’t help but think she is going to be much happier in a few years than her ex-husband.

Maybe he will “find” himself. Maybe he will find the carefree live he feels he missed. Most likely, I think he’ll find he lost the one, most precious thing and most irreplaceable thing in life — his family.

What advice would you give someone in this situation? Is it best to stick it out in a marriage where one person feels trapped, or is it wise to part ways?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.

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