Time goes by

My baby turns 1 this month. I can’t believe it.

I really wish people would stop asking me when her birthday is because I have a small meltdown every time I answer. I feel like shouting for time to stop, just give me a minute — one minute to pause, breathe and not feel like time is zipping past me.

But it is.

When my older daughter started preschool this year, I wrote how time felt like a riptide, pulling me under, pushing me along and rushing by all at the same time. And the funny thing about riptides is that the more you struggle against the current, the more likely you are to get trapped. You’ll simply exhaust yourself trying to escape and get sucked out to sea anyway.

You can’t fight it. You can’t control it. And you definitely can’t stop it.

Oh, but I wish I could. No, I don’t want to stay forever in the up-all-night, scraping-food-off-the-floor stage. But I can’t escape this feeling of panic that these days are going to be gone, and once they are, it’s for good.

The best I can do is go with it. I try to flow with the water, be present in the moment and soak it in as it washes over me. I take walks with my children, cuddle with them and spend hours on the floor building towers.

Someday, when I find myself in calmer waters, I’ll never regret that I simply let this wave of time pass me by.

Do you ever feel anxious that your kids are growing up too quickly? How do you handle it, besides grabbing them and kissing them until they beg you to let go?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.

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