Burial at sea

Our first family pet is in a better place. Well, technically he’s in the septic tank, but my daughter doesn’t need to know that.

Goldie, my daughter’s blue betta fish, died this week. We reiterated to her that fish don’t live very long and that Goldie’s death was no one’s fault. We made his short life happy and that’s all we could do.

We gave Goldie a burial at sea in the bathroom and bid one last adios to our little friend. My daughter didn’t quite seem to know how she felt. She cried a little, laughed a little and was a little hesitant to use that toilet for a while.

It was my daughter’s first brush with death and it gave us the chance to talk about dying. We’ve talked about death before in terms of heaven and burials and bodies, but this was the first time she’d seen something dead that had a name.

Dying isn’t an easy topic to discuss with kids, mostly because it is so abstract. Why do we have to die? Why would someone put you in the ground? Is it dark in there? Will I die?

We tried to steer our conversation to happier things such as that we believe we will all be together again after death. We told her that everyone dies and that life is just one small part of who we are. All in all, I think the conversation went well and it ended up being a bonding moment with our daughter.

Do you have any advice on how to discuss death with children? Any family pet funerals that stick out in your memories?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.