Are today's parents pushovers?

Do children rule your house?

It’s a question I’ve been pondering since a reader left a comment on my post last week about my daughter’s bedtime theatrics. The reader wrote, “There is no excuse for having a child who refuses to go to bed, or at least throws a tantrum when doing so. Parents must be ‘parents’ and enforce some discipline.”

The comment continues, “This abandonment of authority to children has created an epidemic of spoiled-rotten children who think that the world exists only for them.”

My initial reaction was, “Have you ever met a 4-year-old?” But then, I started thinking about whether parents (including myself) really are handing over their authority to children. Surely many parents are more permissive today and don’t abide by the old stand-bys of “don’t speak unless spoken to” and “children should be seen and not heard.”

Children play a more prominent role in family life and in society today, and many parents cater more to their children than previous generations. But does that mean we have relinquished authority to them?

I know I am much more permissive in some area than my parents were. For example, I give my daughter choices and allow her to assert control over certain aspects of her life. But when it comes to discipline, my husband and I both try to be swift and consistent with consequences. And given the choice between being a parent or a friend, I will choose parent every time.

I want my child’s respect more than her friendship, but I like to believe it’s possible to have both. Ideally, I’d love to land somewhere between being a pushover and tyrant.

What do you think – is it possible to be both a friend and a parent? Are parents today becoming pushovers and “relinquishing authority” to their children?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.