Motherhood: Take Two
When my first daughter was born, I spent many hours each day watching her. I mean literally watching her breathe, watching her drool, watching her sleep. Every little developmental milestone was a heroic feat and only further proved that I did, in fact, have the smartest baby in the world.
Then came baby No. 2.
I do not have time to sit and watch her grow. When I do find a quiet moment to be with my 8-month-old daughter, her 4-year-old sister decides this is the ideal time to do a swan dive off the couch.
So needless to say, the mothering experience of the firstborn and the second are drastically different. Here are a couple of key differences I’ve noticed:
1. Germ standards — With my first daughter, if a binkie hit the floor we put on our hazmat suits and disinfected with stringent force. Now, I’m careful to blow off the dog hair before popping that binkie back into my daughter’s mouth.
2. Photographs — Every facial expression my oldest daughter ever made is catalogued in the 10 photo albums I have of her first three years. Yes, I said 10. I am doing my best to keep up on photos of baby No. 2, although most of them also feature big sister, who has some sort of compulsion where she can’t see a camera and not get between it and the baby.
3. Me – I am a much calmer, confident mother. The learning curve on my first daughter was steep. But this time around, I feel like I know what I’m doing. I don’t panic as easily, and I’m confident that I will be able to handle whatever the day throws at me. Sure, “handling” it may mean eating an entire box of Oreos by myself after the kids are in bed, but hey, you do what you’ve got to do.
The most amazing thing, though, is that even though I’m a different mother and life is different this time around, my love for this newest baby is just as intense. I secretly always wondered if I could love another baby as much as my first child because my identity as a mother was wrapped so tightly with her.
Other mothers always told me was, “You’ll love them equally, just in different ways.”
But for me, that’s the one thing that is not different between my children. It is the exact same love — the love of a mother who could watch her child for hours (if only there were time) and never get bored.
What parenting differences did you notice between your first and second (or third or fourth) children?
Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.