Toddlers with self-control

What’s the one word that comes to mind when you think of a 3-year-old?

Self-control, right?

OK, maybe not. A toddler with impeccable self-control seems like a bit of an oxymoron, but a new study says self-mastery among tots could be one of the greatest indicators for success in life. The study, published today in the “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences,” followed 1,000 children from birth to age 32, finding that children with lower self-control scores were more likely to get STDs, become a teen parent, be dependent on drugs and have a criminal record.

I don’t think the link between success and self-control is all that shocking. What is surprising about it is that it makes a difference from such a young age — as early as age 3, according to the study. Self-control was measured by several characteristics including “lack of control, impulsive aggression, hyperactivity, lack of persistence, inattention and impulsivity.”

Yes, I do believe that is the Webster’s definition of a 3-year-old.

So as any good parent would ask when reading this study, I wondered how to teach self-control to my kids. In response to the study, some experts suggest maintaining a strict schedule at home so children know that they have to wait for snack time for another 15 minutes. Others suggest not using ineffective threats — you know, those times when we tell our kids there is no way going to senior prom if they don’t get their boots on for preschool RIGHT NOW!

I must admit I’m not very good at being consistent. My husband is amazing at it and it’s always on my “to work on” list. I always tell him it’s easy to be consistent for the two hours he sees the kids each day, but it’s much harder to stick to your guns 24 hours a day.

For example, I often find myself often counting to three ridiculously slowly in hopes that my daughter will pick her plate up off the floor before I finish counting so I don’t really have to enforce that threat I just made up about not going to the park today because then we are going to have an epic meltdown and I was really looking forward to the park.

So consistency is not my strong point. But if skipping the park means my daughter is less likely to end up on meth with a baby at 16, then we’re skipping the park!

Any tips for teaching self-control to children? What works and what doesn’t in your home?

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 3-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister’s nose.