What makes a good mom?
“A good mom watches her babies and cleans the dishes,” my 3-year-old daughter responded after I complimented her on her “mothering” skills while she was taking care of her baby dolls.
Intrigued by her definition of a “good mom,” I asked her what is the most important thing a mom does.
She answered thoughtfully, “Well, she does the laundry. Oh, and she keeps her kids safe, you know, from monsters and bad guys.”
All in all, it’s not a bad definition.
It got me thinking about the qualities I consider a “good mom” should possess. Some days it does seem like doing the laundry should put me in the running for a mother-of-the-year award, but we all know that motherhood is much more than the day-to-day housekeeping and external manifestations of a mom that has it all together.
And I’m sure everyone’s definition of a “good mom” is not quite the same.
The debacle over the Amu Chua’s article in the Wall Street Journal this month titled, “Why Chinese Mother’s Are Superior,” demonstrates just how different moms can be. Chua writes of how she demanded perfect grades, enforced hours of violin practice and even called her daughter “garbage” for being disrespectful. It certainly showed me how differently women can value certain aspects of being a mom, even if they all love their kids just as intensely.
(Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven, Conn. – Erin Patrice O’Brien for The Wall Street Journal)
So I made my list of the top qualities I aspire to in my effort to be the best mom I can – even if no one in my family ever has clean underwear or becomes a violin virtuoso.
1. Makes personal sacrifices for her children’s happiness and well-being.
2. Teaches her children – by example – to love.
3. Instills a healthy self-image in her children by giving them independence and by respecting them.
4. Sets consistent boundaries.
5. Keeps her kids safe from monsters and bad guys. (Hey, if it’s on my daughter’s list, it better be on mine.)
What qualities do you think make a “good mom”?
