Sleep training a baby

I did not do a good job of sleep training my first daughter. She is 3 1/2 now and we still struggle to get her in bed at night and to stay asleep. It’s a sweet and rare day when she takes a daytime nap, and we often have to listen to her cry herself to sleep at night.

So I’m determined to do a better job of getting my second daughter to sleep without crying and to stay asleep on her own. The best route to accomplish this is up for debate, however, and I’m not sure which path I want to follow.

On one side, you’ve got the “let them cry it out” folks who say it’s best to let your baby cry themselves to sleep. Some advocates of this insist that you let them cry as long and as hard as needed, while others say to check on them periodically without picking them up or making efforts to comfort them. Either way, the goal is to let the child cry until he or she hopefully finds a way to self-soothe and go to sleep unassisted.

Then, you’ve got the other camp that says letting a child cry it out will make them feel abandoned. They say mothers should do whatever it takes to comfort and soothe their child, whether that’s nursing, co-sleeping, rocking or holding a baby until he or she is fast asleep. While this does seem more nurturing, I’m not sure it’s practical when you have more than one kid or a life.

We haven’t launched fully into either method and I’d love some input on what you think is best – is it worth the tears to help a child fall asleep unassisted, or is it best to come to your child’s aid no matter what?