It’s hard to feel attractive after having a baby.
Every day I go through the same ritual. I try on five different shirts that are too tight on my belly. I then struggle in to button my pre-pregnancy jeans, only to create the king of all muffin tops. So, this daily routine usually ends in me being completely frustrated and wearing the running pants and sweatshirt that have become my uniform of recent weeks.
Then, I spend all day nursing a baby, wiping the nose of a 3-year-old and changing poopy diapers. Needless to say, by the time my husband gets home, I’m exhausted, feeling bad about my body and not really in a sexy frame of mind. So when my husband gives me his “bedroom eyes,” chances are it’s not happening.
I’ve given my husband the “it’s not you, it’s me” explanation several times. It’s hard to feel sexy when all I can see in the mirror is the extra skin and stretch marks. If I don’t want to look at it, why would I want anyone else to? I get that my husband doesn’t care and thinks I’m beautiful, but I don’t.
I know that is shallow, but it’s honest.
Many of my friends are facing the same dilemma after recently having kids: how do you stop your post-baby body image issues from getting in the way of marital intimacy? Add to that the feeling that mommy just doesn’t have anything else to give to anyone else by the end of the day and you’ve got a pretty horrible formula for a sexless marriage.
So what can women (or their husbands) do to help mommy feel desirable again?