Unprepared for motherhood?

Whenever I write on this blog about my shortcomings as a mother, I inevitably get several comments from people saying that I am clearly not prepared to be a mother. One commenter in particular makes sure to tell me repeatedly that I am emotionally unprepared to be a mother, no matter if my blog is about fighting with my husband or feeling underappreciated by my daughter.

In my last blog on the rollercoaster of pregnancy emotions, this commenter wrote, “This community places enormous pressure on women to have as many kids as they can as fast as they can. As a consequence, too many women are having kids before they are emotionally or financially ready. This causes the women to suffer emotional breakdowns like the one mentioned in this blog, and causes husbands’ needs to be ignored.”

Well, here’s the truth: I was not completely ready to be a mom. Who is?

I don’t think anyone woman can know they are 100 percent prepared for motherhood because they’ve never done it before. How could a woman possibly know if she has the emotional fortitude to be a mom before she ever becomes one?

For me, I feel I did everything possible to be ready to have children. I earned my master’s degree, was married, had worked for several years in my dream career, was financially stable and was as emotionally prepared for motherhood as I feel I could have been.

Still, there are moments when motherhood completely overwhelms me. Does that make me irresponsible or immature? No way. It makes me normal.

I’m sure there are women out there who feel pressure by society or their families to have children before they are emotionally or financially ready. But instead of judging those women, shouldn’t we be trying to think of ways to help them and their children?

What do you think: Does our society (and Utah culture in particular) push women into having babies before they are ready? How can a woman know if she is truly ready to be a mother?

Did you feel 100 percent ready to be a mom? Did your opinion change after you actually had children?