Who will raise your kids?

It’s a parent’s worst nightmare: Having both parents die in an accident that leaves your children parentless.

No matter how laid back you are as a parent, this thought has no doubt crossed your mind at some point. And whether you have an official will or not, you probably have thought about what you would want to happen to your children if something happened to you and your spouse.

My husband and I went to a lawyer and drew up official will documents before my daughter was born, and I have to say it was a huge relief to know that the guardian was named in a signed, printed document. We were fortunate that our choice was difficult only because we had so many family members to choose from.

But this story about a family makes me wonder if we’ve done enough. The story is a classic horror tale of both parents dying suddenly in a car crash, which spared their sons life and left their daughter severely brain damaged. Although the parents had a handwritten will and had explained their ideal custody arrangement to their extended family, the children are still in the middle of a heated family battle over guardianship. Both sides interpret the parents’ desires differently and argue that the daughter’s health issues require a change in plans.

This story made me wonder if simply naming a guardian isn’t enough when it comes to the future of your kids. My husband and I told the guardian about our choice, but decided not to announce our decision to the rest of the family. We figured it was a can of worms that was best left shut unless we absolutely have to open it. We also figured no one could second-guess our choice once we are dead.

But maybe we’re being too naive. If this news story taught me anything, it’s that it is best to have everyone on board with custody arrangements before tragedy strikes, even if it’s an awkward discussion.

Do you have a will and a guardian for your children? How did you make that decision? Do you think it’s best to disclose your choice or hope that no one ever has to know? Any tips on how to protect your children if something happens to you and your spouse?