Emotional manipulation

My daughter broke my heart yesterday.

I can’t imagine it will be the last time, but it took me by surprise that a 2 year old could hurt me so badly.

My husband and I were driving in the car while our daughter, Nicole, screamed in her car seat because I had not allowed her to eat a cookie at 9 a.m. She wanted that cookie and was ticked that I said no.

As I tried to explain to her why we can’t have cookies in the morning, I ended with an “I love you honey.” She responded back, “I love you.”

But then something happened. Something clicked in that little 2-year-old brain and she saw an opportunity to get that cookie. She looked at me and said, “No. I don’t love you. I love Daddy. No Mommy.”

Ouch.

I guess it’s karma that my daughter would understand the nuances of emotional manipulation because I was a master at it. As a teenager, I often slammed doors, told my parents I hated them and played on my parents’ emotions to get what I wanted. Looking back, I’m horrified and embarrassed.

And when I heard those words in my daughter’s tiny little voice, I see just how hurtful they can be.

I don’t love you. Seriously, ouch.

I should add that shortly after this episode, my daughter hugged me and told me she loved me. But the incident still left me terrified of what’s to come.

Have your kids said hurtful things like this to you? How do you respond? Is there a way to curb that behavior before it gets out of control?