Marriage competitions

My husband will be taking the reins of the house this week while I’m at a conference.

He informed me that he’ll take our daughter on educational outings, clean the house every night, do the laundry and make dinner for me.

I informed him that I will have a meltdown.

Sure, it sounds great that my husband would be willing to do this, and I know his intentions are entirely selfless. But what I really want is to come home to macaroni crusted on the floor, marker all over my daughter’s arms, a burned dinner and a neglected heap of laundry in the hallway. And in the midst of this chaos, he will look at me and exclaim, “I don’t know how you do it. You’re amazing.”

I want it to be hard. I want him to be in awe of the wonder that is me. Perhaps he could even chisel some type of plaque or bust honoring me as “Mother of the Year.”

Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. I am a small, sad, petty woman. It’s true — I won’t deny it.

But I think all moms want their husbands to know just how hard they work. I want my husband to spend a day in my shoes and realize I don’t sit on the couch all day eating bon-bons and watching TV.

I also think that part of this desire stems from the unspoken competition that exists between most husbands and wives. Who works harder? Who is better with the children? Who makes more money? Who changed the last diaper? I, for one, fully admit that I compete with my husband to some degree, and I am eager to see how he fares this week in my place.

What do you think — is it unhealthy to be competitive with a spouse? Do you wish your husband could see how hard you work as a mom?