Living with infertility

It has been two years this week that I found out I was pregnant with Nicole. I can still remember that night when the two little blue lines appeared on the test and I ran into the hallway to tell my husband. We couldn’t believe it — I took another test.

We had tried to get pregnant for 15 months and had been told that even with fertility treatments, our chances of conceiving were less than 5 percent. Then suddenly there were two blue lines instead of one.

So today, as I’m thinking back on that joyous occasion, I’m also thinking about the many times I looked at that one miserable blue line and sobbed.

Infertility sneaks into your home, your life and your marriage so quietly and pervasively. Every pregnant woman or child you see makes your heart hurt.

And then, you’ve got all those well-intentioned people saying, “Just have faith. It will all work out.” Add to that the oblivious relatives and church members that keep asking when you’re going to start a family, and you pretty much walk around ready to either punch someone or burst into tears.

So today I’m thinking about all of you that might be having fertility problems — and I’m not going to tell you to have faith. I’m not going to tell you that you can adopt or that maybe now is not the right time.

I’m just going to tell you it hurts, and if you need to cry, then cry. If you need to yell, then yell. If you need to take out People magazine and cut up all the pictures of 19-year-old celebrities having babies, do it.

And please, if you have an infertility story, share it here. Some of you may be lucky enough to now have a child, others may be facing a lifelong struggle. Either way, sharing our stories is the one thing we can do for each other.